What the hell am I doing?
I’ve got this kick in the ass lately – I sold my home, decided to move back up north, change what I do for a living (yeah yeah, again). I cut my hair, I want to get a dog. Two, actually. And some furry chickens.
I feel like I can’t change enough fast enough. I feel like I’ve been stuck at the bottom of a dark hole of depression and apathy for the last couple years and I’m Just. DONE. With it. There is so much creativity and opportunity and possibility out there, I want to take advantage of it all. I don’t want to look back and say what the fuck was I waiting for?
Mental health is a really fucked up thing. It can make you question every emotion that you have. Which in turn can make you question every decision that you make. Is this really a good idea to go sell my home and move even further away from the city I love and do so much of my work in? Or is this a manic episode I’m going to wake up from homeless and alone and broke?
I don’t know. But at this point I’m more afraid of the opportunities I might miss then the failures I might encounter.
I’ve got a backlog of scary to catch up on.